Bridentity

2 weeks from today ...

2009-09-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

Rob and I will be married.

So much to do!
Tomorrow is my bridal shower. I'm excited, though it is bittersweet since my bestie, Janna, will not be in attendance due to the passing of her beloved Nanny. It's hard to be in the party spirit knowing that she and her family are grieving.

I have been a neglectful blogger, but I will try to sneak in a few in these coming days ...

the count down begins ....

2009-08-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'll hold off on imbedding a YouTube link to Europe's "Final Countdown" until a bit closer to the day, but man oh man, it's sneaking up on us fast!

Monday was the 2 month mark and we spent it shopping for liquor (weeeeee!) and getting Rob fitted for his tux. Honestly, when he said he was into a pinstriped tux I was dubious, envisioning something straight out of Good Fellas, or worse yet, a zoot suit, but it looked great! It's a fine charcoal pinstripe on black and he'll have a red vest; he looked very handsome! I'm hoping I get invited along when the other guys get theirs fitted and reserved. I'll be sure to take pics!

First Gift!

2009-07-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

We got the call! The Bay called to tell us that our first registry gift had been purchased! How exciting!

Mini-Moon

2009-07-24T22:38:00.000-07:00

Rob and I get along very well. We are not the kind of couple that bickers. In fact, we almost always agree on almost all things. A honeymoon destination, however, is not something we can agree upon. Cruise? Mexico? Mexican cruise? The possibilities, although not quite infinite, are plentiful enough that we are faced with the choice of too many choices.
We have managed to decide that the full-on honeymoon will be next year, sometime in the summer, most likely coinciding with a trip to visit our families in Ontario. In the meantime, it seemed so uneventful not to do something, go somewhere, so we have chosen a mini-moon: a 4 night stay at a relatively nearby location so we can bask in the delirium that is undoubtably going to be the result of all the planing, the dizziness of the day itself and the the days and days of visiting and parties.
So where are we going? I thought you'd never ask.
We will be spending 4 nights at the
BlackRock Oceanfront Resort
and we're very excited!

The Penguin Suit

2009-07-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

So, being that the wedding is only 84 days away, the time has come for the guys to get in gear, literally.
Here's what wikipedia tells us:

In the spring of 1886, the Prince invited James Potter, a rich New Yorker and his wife, Cora Potter, to Sandringham House, his Norfolk hunting estate. When Potter asked the Prince's dinner dress recommendation, he sent Potter to Henry Poole & Co., in London. On returning to New York in 1886, Potter's dinner suit proved popular at the Tuxedo Park Club; the club men copied him, soon making it their informal dining uniform. The evening dress for men now popularly known as a tuxedo takes its name from Tuxedo Park, where it was said to have been worn for the first time in the United States, by Griswald Lorillard at the annual Autumn Ball of the Tuxedo Club founded by Pierre Lorillard IV, and thereafter became popular for formal dress in America. Legend dictates that it became known as the tuxedo when a fellow asked another at the Autumn Ball, "Why does that man's jacket not have coattails on it?" The other answered, "He is from Tuxedo Park." The first gentleman misinterpreted and told all of his friends that he saw a man wearing a jacket without coattails called a tuxedo, not from Tuxedo.[2]

But wow, are tuxedos ever confusing!

In brief, the traditional components are:

A jacket with silk facings (usually grosgrain or satin), called the dinner jacket
Trousers with silk braids matching the lapels
A black cummerbund or low-cut waistcoat
A white dress shirt with either a marcella (piqué cotton), stiff, or pleated front
A black silk bow tie
Black dress socks, usually silk
Black shoes in patent or highly polished leather, or patent leather court shoes

Jackets can be single or double breasted, pants can't have belt loops (what do you use? rainbow suspenders?), if there's no cumberbund there must be a vest, which can have a back, or not (!), shoes can be patent leather or velvet and are referred to as opera pumps ... the list goes on ...there are as many exceptions as there are rules.

Maybe suits will be easier ...

Ruby Tuesday

2009-07-07T18:10:00.001-07:00

I've had the song Ruby Tuesday stuck in my head all day so I figured I'd better just go with the flow ...

Setting the table

2009-07-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

It makes sense when putting together the elements of an event like a wedding that you want your guests to be comfortable because comfortable guests are happy guests, and happy guests don't leave right after dinner. I don't care if I flub my vows or lose my footing going down the aisle. I could even stand to dribble wine on my beloved dress (note to self: white wine only!), but I would be heartbroken if, after all these months of planning and organizing, everyone left early.
So following the logic that happy guests are also comfortable, we have made sure that the drinks will be flowing and the dinner will be delicious. Moreover, the room won't be too crowded and the chairs provided are remarkably comfortable. So what else is there to consider when making 100 or so people feel comfortable for an evening?
When I think of the last 4 weddings I have attended, one of the yet unmentioned things that always stick with me is the tables. As a guest you spend most of your time there or on the dance floor. Even if you get up and mingle, you inevitably end up pulling up a chair to a table even if it is not the one you were assigned to.
In this way, it makes sense to invest some time and thought into the aesthetics of the tables. Not only will they help carry through your colour scheme or theme, but they make pretty backdrops, and provide opportunities to be creative with decorating.
Here are some looks I'm liking that would look great in our black and white (with red) scheme:

Wine Country

2009-06-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

We are big wine fans. So we finally made a point to get out and see some wineries. We decided to start with the Okanagan, since it is so perfectly made for wine and is absolutely packed with well known commercial wineries as well as small family run joints. We are on our 2nd of 4 days here in beautiful sunny Osoyoos. Our travels today took us to Jackson-Triggs, Dirty Laundry, Sleeping Giant Fruit Winery and last but not at all least, Blasted Church.
The image above is the label of one of their newest wines, called Mixed Blessings, a delicious blend of white wines. How nice would it be to serve such a quirky and appropriate wine at a wedding? We'd have loved to but with cases of 12 running at over $200, we just bought a bottle for us. Maybe we'll save it for an anniversary, or the rehearsal dinner.

T-minus 4 months

2009-06-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

We are less than 4 months away and the guest list isn't completely finalized.

Nor are the invites ready. ( I made a big effing mistake and saved the WRONG files. ie the files that are not print-ready or of the right resolution. So I'll be starting almost from scratch on those.)

Additionally, I have been tasked, by my task master maid of honour, the job of making a shower guest list and deciding on what we might do for said shower, by the end of the month.

Luckily a lot of the other major components are already done ...

Dear Ms. Taylor,

2009-06-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

You are my inspiration.

Sincerely,
Sarah

Decisions, decisions ...

2009-06-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

So after months of feeling lukewarm about my dress I changed my mind and bought another one. It's fantastic. You can find it here. (no peeking, Rob!)
The original will be hitting craigslist soon.
I'm a bit in shock; I'm not usually so fickle, but it's so pretty, and I know it is the dress.

Now for accessories .... and I need opinions: can I still rock a birdcage veil?

Awww

2009-05-31T22:19:00.000-07:00

My soon to be mother in law called today and asked me what our wedding colours are. I explained they were black and white and red. Why did she so randomly call and ask that? She wants to make me an artificial flower bouquet for me to toss at the wedding so I can keep my bouquet to take to the cemetery for my mom's grave.
How thoughtful! I'm not usually a fan of artificial flowers but it's such a nice gesture. I'm sure it will be beautiful!

time ticks by ...

2009-05-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been forever since I posted.

Things that have happened in my absence:

- Janna and Travis got married! Fantastic wedding! They were so happy!
- Work has been insane. My previous boss has left and we have a new boss for the short term. She is awesome and I'm really enjoying working with her. I'm super busy and learning a lot.
- Rob and I have begun to plan a mini vacation in the Okanagan for the end of June. We will be staying at Spirit Ridge Vineyard Resort & Spa and visiting several regional wineries.
We've made some design decisions for the wedding and our planner, Reesa has been a big help in getting rentals organized and adding her wisdom to our creativity.
- Janna's dad, John, underwent a very successful heart surgery. He is making incredible progress and we are all relieved that things went so smoothly.

Still, that's no excuse for failing to blog. I also need to update my list of favourite blogs and websites, I have found some gems recently. Stay tuned!

Janna's gettin' hitched!

2009-05-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Today is Janna's wedding!

Janna and Travis are truly a special couple and to me, they have a very inspiring love story. They deserve every happiness and I know that their life together will be beautiful.

Much to do, but I will return with pictures!

Organized, much?

2009-05-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

In addition to my wedding day shoes, we also got a white board to start putting wedding related tasks on ... Janna: I hope you are proud. ;)

I guess the labour day rule doesn't apply?

2009-05-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

I have never been one to wear white shoes past labour day. Not because I'm a stickler, but because I just never wear white shoes (except maybe runners. The wedding is the exception to this rule. If you scroll way back to the beginning of this blog you'll read about my Bridezilla-ness about red shoes, trying to have them all to myself and then the overwhelming sense of need to wear white shoes with my (essentially) white dress.
So today I found them, and they were even on sale!

Hair

2009-05-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

Every time I flip through a magazine, scroll through a website or watch a wedding show, there is always a big deal being made about the back of the wedding gown (since it gets so much "air time" during the ceremony.)
The back of my dress (I'd not go so far as to call it a gown)is simple. In fact it is unadorned. I know it's lame to feel like the back of my dress is inadequate but I am now thinking I should make up for it with hair.
The thing with my hair is that it is fine and straight until it reaches a certain length, then it gets a wee bit wavy. It also doesn't hold a curl very well.
I think if I could make it happen I'd do this:

Luck

2009-05-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia's entry on weddings discusses the 'something old, something new ...' poem:

A modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old). Another addition to this custom is to wear a penny in your shoe, this will bring you prosperity.
The full text of the verse is:
Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And silver sixpence in your shoe

Weddings, sure like many rites of passage, comes loaded with lore and superstition. I don't personally prescribe to superstition, usually, but I figure on one's wedding day you can't be too careful. Not only am I not sure what I will use as these talismans, but I'm not sure about the etiquette and I'm having a hard time finding answers. Can you request the borrowed piece? Or does it have to be voluntarily loaned to you? How old is "old"? I have blue eyes, does that count?

Blooming Beauties

2009-05-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because it's spring and our front flower bed is bursting with colour and our street is lined with creamy white cherry trees, but my mind has turned to all things floral.
For me, flowers are an aesthetic element that really set weddings apart from other parties. Whether it's in the bouquet, the centerpieces, ceremony arrangements or boutonnieres, I think it's an area that we should all feel free to go full tilt with.
Here are some looks that I am loving:

In need of a large dry erase board

2009-04-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

I think it's come to that. I think we need to start a centralized list on a massive whiteboard so we can keep track of things. Many lists in many places will no longer do.

Janna: You are my inspiration!

Mr. & Mrs. Plaster - The Makeover

2009-04-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

So here they are, freshly painted. It's hard to tell from the pictures, which are not true to colour, but the original "skin tone" was really orange and the gown had some tea coloured staining.
All in all, I'm pleased! They look much fresher and it was fun to meticulously paint them for a few hours.

Mr. & Mrs. Plaster

2009-04-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is my current project. I found this vintage beauty on ebay for 7 dollars, and as expected, since it was only 7 dollars and it's old, it's a wee bit dingy. But aren't they cute? I am going to tediously colour match and retouch them so they have a fresher, less garage-sale look about them so they may proudly top our cake in 5 or so months.

Hey dummy!

2009-04-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

I'm a smart person. Ask anyone who knows me!
But occasionally, I have a really lame mental misfire, like this little whopper:

I will be a bridesmaid in 19 days.
We had the dresses made.
It is paid for, and hanging in my closet.

Yet still .... still I randomly think of May 16th and panic:

"WHAT WILL I WEAR?!?!?!?!"

What's in a name?

2009-04-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned, my BFF of 15 years, will be married soon. 20 days from now, to be exact. She, like many women (most women?) will be taking her husband's name.
I was thrilled to hear that they got engaged, and I have enjoyed our simultaneous wedding planning and it is truly a special time and it's very exciting that we got to do it in synch. I do, however, hesitate when I think of her being Janna New-Last-Name and not Janna Original-Last-Name anymore. This is not because I don't think she should change it, or that I think his last name is unpleasant, or even that I think her first and middle names don't match his last name; it's really just because she will, at least on paper, be someone else.
Now, I know she won't change who she is and I don't think she is compromising her integrity in any way, but I know for myself, the quandary of possibly changing my name is something I have been mulling over for years and I continue to, with no solid resolve. If I believe nothing changes, then why the hesitation?
Growing up, my mother had her first husband's last name and I had(have) my father's. My parents were never married. I admit that, at times, I had the childhood longings for a "normal" family, a more nuclear unit, where everyone belonged to everyone and we all had a name in common. I also remember when my parents broke up, believing, in my 7 year old's heart, that had they been married they might have stayed together.
As an adult, I understand that such things are not so simple. I also believe that if I could feel this way, so could my child(ren).
I know that historically women were possessions and marriage contracts were all business, and that by taking his name, a transfer of ownership, from your father to your husband, was cemented. Does this mean that every woman who changes her name is "honouring" this unpleasant history and condoning it? I don't believe so. I think that whatever my choice is (and thankfully I have that choice)it will be reflective not of centuries of oppression (or railing against it) but of me, here, and now. I believe I could change my name and not lose anything. But what would I gain? A family name? Is that enough?
The leap from my name to Rob's is not a big one. They both start with L, both have 2 syllables and both are French. Not really much of a stretch. But still, it would be a new name! I have spent 27 years with the one I have, and frankly, not only am I used to it, but I like it. My first and middle names sound fine with his last name, it's not awkward, not ill-fitting, but still ... it's not mine.
I offered up the idea that he change his name to mine. He didn't bite. When I asked why not, his reply was "I like mine better". So why isn't it that simple for me? It's that history! Those centuries of ingrained "how-to".
Obviously, I have not decided. But I'd like to. Soon. Thoughts?

It's a spring thing

2009-04-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

No wonder April, May and June are the busiest wedding months! I think romance is greater than the sum of each season, though some months do say "love" more than others. There is just something about the sights and sounds of spring that really get the blood flowing. In spring, things are budding and blooming, awakening and coming alive. The Earth spills forth new energies and colours and seems to inspire everyone, human and beast alike, to go forth and multiply. Interesting though, that spring doesn't seem like a "sexy" season, not like summer (perhaps it's all the skin?). No, spring has retained it's pastel sweetness. If Rob and I had chosen a spring wedding, it might have looked something like any of these details ...

all images from marthastewart.com/weddings

Success!

2009-04-19T16:16:00.001-07:00

Back from shoe shopping. It was a roaring success. I got 2 pairs of black wedges because I couldn't choose and they were both reasonably priced. They are both very comfy so either one would be perfect for my up coming bridesmaid duties.

and

Now for the most exciting part! My lovely niece, Justine, who will also be a bridesmaid in our wedding found red shoes to go with her black dress! Not only are they HOT, they were a major steal, especially considering they are Steve Maddens.

Back on track ...

2009-04-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Wow. I have been a delinquent blogger. It's been a busy couple weeks (no excuses!)
But I am back and on track. Apology over.

Now, on to more pressing issues. SHOES.
As mentioned in previous posts, I am a bridesmaid in my BFF's wedding which is suddenly ridiculously close. (three weeks away, close!) My dress is ready (thanks again for choosing black, Janna!) but I need some shoes! Of course I own black heels, but none of them are very comfortable because I don't wear them often so I buy cheap, trendy ones. I have never invested in good quality, non torture device, heels.

In addition to needing black heels I can wear all day for Janna's wedding, I need some to wear for MY wedding and clearly they cannot be the same shoe. I have some changes to make to my wedding dress (adding sleeves) and the length needs to change (I'm 5'2": story of my life) but none of those things can happen without the shoes dictating height and all of that.

So today is shoe day. I will leave the house in about an hour in search of some cute new kicks, but before I go, here is some of my inspiration:

Pretty (ain't nothin' wrong with that)

2009-04-10T11:58:00.001-07:00

I wonder if I could pull off this look?

Perhaps as the 'fascinator' on a birdcage veil? It's so lovely and delicate, as is everything at one of my top 10 Etsy shops Portobello. All of their wares are beautiful, original and vintage inspired. Some are even made of genuine high-end vintage pieces. Definitely drool worthy.

Oh to be showered with gifts!

2009-04-08T20:18:00.000-07:00

My friend (and maid of honour) Janna's bridal shower is this Friday! I have never been to a bridal shower but I do know what they are for: GIFTS! Traditionally they were all about outfitting a bride with domestic necessities (pot holders anyone?) and later evolved into an excuse to *literally* outfit the bride-to-be in anything slinky and kinky.
I asked Janna what would be embarrassing to open in front of her soon-to-be mother in law (and her own mother) and the only resounding answer was sex toys of any kind. Since that is easily the most personal item one could buy, I would never venture to presume what would be adequate anyway.
I am happy to say, though, that her non-silicone, no-batteries-required gift is wrapped, the card is written and it is waiting for Friday afternoon's High Tea.
How exciting!

The turning of the tables ...

2009-04-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

I have the great honour of being a bridesmaid in my bestie/maid of honour Janna's wedding. I also have the responsibility of wearing whatever she makes me! Luckily, she is a sensible, kind woman with great taste because the dresses are SO cute. I just got mine today and it's lovely. Our dresses are all unique, and made by the incomparable Jane Bon-Bon.
Jane's style and craftsmanship is exquisite, and these affordable, handmade dresses are just wonderful. I am a big fan now and I think I will have others made as well. Maybe this one or this one, or maybe this one.
Because really, how would I choose? And since they are so well made, and customizable, the price is totally justified. Plus, Jane is very nice to work with and you get to meet her little dog, Bon-Bon, (hence the name)when you visit her in-home studio.

Pretty and personal

2009-04-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

The guys' ties are in! They arrived yesterday and they are gorgeous!
I'm so glad we followed through on these.
Not one of these young men are tie wearing types, possibly with the exception of Jon, our MC, so it seemed like a good idea to make the tie wearing experience as personal and light-hearted as possible.

Delinquent

2009-04-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

I have been a bad blogger. I have lacked the inspiration and verve it takes to churn out posts. My guilt was somewhat assuaged when my bestie, Janna, said that she had been reading it and thought I had really been productive. Upon further investigation, I came to understand that it had been awhile since she had tuned in, so relatively speaking, it seemed like I'd been busy. Le sigh.

So, onward and upward. I promise I'll do better.

Entourage

2009-03-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of what to give my lovely bridesmaids as thank you gifts for all their participation and support leading up to the wedding when I stumbled across these.

These aren't quite right for my girls, as cute as they are, I don't think they'd get much use out of them but I love the playful spin on the classic gift of flasks for groomsmen.

This got me thinking about wedding parties and what they mean to us. For Rob and I, choosing who would stand up with us was a no brainer. Some people will tell you there's a formula for how big you wedding party should be based on the number of guests you are inviting. And while I will agree that 9 bridesmaids at a wedding of 50 guests would look odd, I also think that these "rules" are antiquated notions, and that you should do whatever the heck you feel like! If you can't pick and choose and you really want to include all your sisters, a cousin or two, some friends and your new sisters in law, well, gee whiz, just do it! Just remember that more 'maids means more money (more bouquets, more thank you gifts, more dresses, hair and makeup)
We each chose 4 people to be in the wedding party, and I am so happy to say that they were the right people. I absolutely know that there will be no drama, no issues and all the love and support we could want or need. These are our best friends and we are so honoured they said yes.

Nowadays the wedding party is just a bonus, an extra, and although traditional, not necessary, but historically the wedding party served a very different purpose than it does today. While in our era the wedding party is a way to honour your friends and family by having them stand up beside you when you make the commitment of a lifetime, in the past things were a bit different.

In many parts of the world it was once believed that evil spirits would try to hurt the bride or interrupt the proceedings, so the tradition evolved that her closest friends and sisters would dress alike to her, thus becoming decoys to confuse the spirits. Presumably, this is why, still to this day, bridesmaids typically all dress the same.

Likewise, groomsmen developed to aid the groom before and at the wedding. In times when marriages were more politics than romance, the groomsmen were employed to be at the ready in case the bride needed to be kidnapped in order to have the marriage happen. They also acted as security guards at the ceremony, should anyone try to derail the proceedings. This is also why, typically, when you are looking at a (Western) wedding ceremony,the bride is on the left and the groom on the right: this allowed for the groom to have faster, clearer access to his sword (or other weapon) in case there was any funny business.

Sweet Libations

2009-03-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

We are in the process of organizing the bar for the wedding. Our fantastic friend and Day-Of Coordinator, Reesa has recommended a bartender to us, and although we have accomplished many emails, we have yet to find a mutually conducive time to meet and discuss details. Not because we are all a bunch of boozers, but because a party means some drinking, and for some more than others.

Since our reception space is "self-catered" meaning we have to bring in everything we had many choices from full bar to limited, cash or open. We decided that even though the bar is a pretty hefty cost, because we will be purchasing the liquor, wine and beer ourselves and only otherwise paying for a bartender's time and skills, that we would give our guests as much as we can, with an open bar full of all the basics for cocktails and highballs, as well as beer, and wine on every table. This is the advantage of NOT having a wedding in a restaurant or hotel (though they can be beautiful and have many perks too) there is not a cost per drink being recorded as every guest requests their favourite beverage, and then a humongous bill at the end of the night. I would be very uneasy about that ... consumption bars are scary!

One thing that all the wedding magazines, books and websites talk about as a cost cutter/"original" touch for weddings is a signature cocktail. The idea is that this drink has some special meaning to you, suits your colour scheme, and can be made in batches for quick pouring.

(it's also a nice opportunity to have a cute "something blue")

Registered and ready to go

2009-03-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

We finished our wedding registry today and let me tell you, it was WORK!
Sure, it's fun, but in order to put together a well thought out registry, you have to be considerate. Now, I know the concept of a registry seems selfish, and in truth, I was hesitant to do one. I'm the sort of person who feels like a real cad for making a Christmas or birthday wish list, let alone running madly through the aisles of my favourite department store zapping all the luxurious items I'd never buy myself. But then I thought about it. I have been a guest at weddings where the couple registered and I appreciated it. I was grateful for the guidance, and buying online is convenient and easy. And really, I don't even care what it looks like or feels like, because they have already selected it, and who am I to judge? I just want them to have something they will love and treasure. Likewise, being aware that weddings are a gift giving occasion and that most people will want to gift us with something, why not let them know what would be most appreciated? (and what would be most our style)Besides, anything that doesn't get selected off the registry is 10% off for us ... presents and a sale? Um, yeah. That's okay in my books.

The importance of being earnest

2009-03-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

I've said it before and I will say it again: I am surprised by how traditional my wedding will be. Absolutely we have dropped some traditions and bypassed some of the more formal aspects of weddings, but all in all, it is shaping up to be quite ...typical. And even more surprising, I'm okay with that.

Emerald. Olive, Celadon. Jade. Lime. Chartreuse. Mint.

2009-03-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

Gorgeous green.
Today's post calls for an homage to the beauty of green, being that it is St. Patrick's Day.

With spring approaching, I'm sure that many a starry-eyed bride is incorporating a lush shade of green into her wedding. From fresh and bright, to deep and luxurious, green delivers a whopping punch of colour and pairs beautifully with many other colours like pink, purple, blue, yellow and white, Preppy or pastoral, green is good!

Let's talk about colour ...

2009-03-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

Pre engagment, pre wedding-frenzy I thought the idea of "wedding colours" was lame and way too matchy-matchy. I also feared slipping over the precipice of insanity into ridiculous land and becoming obsessed with the exact shade of said wedding colours. For the longest time the whole concept made me think of that scene in Steel Magnolias (saddest movie ever. don't see it. okay, see it if you haven't ever because it's fantastic, but be warned: it's the saddest movie ever) where Julia Roberts' character is asked what her "colours" are for her upcoming wedding and she replies "blush and bashful". Then her mother (played by Sally Field) pipes up and says so sweetly in her Southern drawl: "Her colours are pink, and pink."

When you first say you are having a wedding, one of the most common and most excited questions is/will be "What are the colours?" I have learned that colours are by far the easiest way to create some cohesion (dare I say theme?) and sense to all of your aesthetic decisions. This palette helps with flowers, dresses, decor, paper goods, for some couples, even the food! It also gives you a starting point. Colours can be your aesthetic compass. Choosing them is the problem.

Rob and I both love the fall and Thanksgiving so we will be married over the (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend this year. Initially "autumn" was a great starting point for colours/the feel of the event. One snag: I'm not a fan of fall colours. Brown? Not so much. Orange and yellow? Not my style. Red? Now we're getting somewhere ...

We didn't stay pure and true to the season, but we also knew that pastels would be out of place, so would any bright tropical combinations, and that it would still be a bit early for a cold wintery palette of greys, whites and blues. Having a shared love of bygone eras, old films and secret desires for an opulent, casual, dancing-at-the-supper-club and evening-out-at-the opera type lifestyle, we decided on a vintage-glam deco-esque affair outfitted in white and black with red and a dose of pewter and silver to keep things sparkly. Not only do the deeper colours suit the will-be weather (quite possibly rain, it is Vancouver after all) they suggest an era, a look and a feel simply by being placed together. All this being said, I am not a fan of themes, but a simple, tied together look? Absolutely.

Ignoring the Peanut Gallery

2009-03-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

This is some of the best advice I have seen/heard/read/repeated about weddings.

It comes from the clever blogger at A $10,000 Wedding. It is so easy to be swept away. Sometimes the fun and romance and glamour of weddings can really get out of hand. So can the opinions, hissy fits and expectations of the people around you.

It's one day. It should be beautiful and memorable and special, but it's still just one day. And it's yours. So make it everything you want it to be.

... and something blue

2009-03-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

In case your right hand is jealous, just bedazzle it with one of these suckers from Birks:

from top:
heart shaped 3.5 carat aquamarine and diamond ring in 18K white gold
8mmx6mm oval cut blue topaz in 18K yellow gold
1.37 carat sapphire with a halo of micro pave diamonds set in 18k white gold

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in your shoe" is one of my favourite wedding traditions. I love the idea of being mindful of something old from your life before marriage, welcoming the new, borrowing the luck from a happily married woman you love, and carrying something blue (to remind yourself of being virtuous. ha! we all know what THAT one means!)
And a sixpence in your shoe: excellent if you need to stop and make a call in a Dickensian phone booth? But seriously, a symbol of monetary fortune is not a bad thing to start out your marriage with.

Red Shoes

2009-03-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

via the southern weddings daily blog

Much like in my earlier post on bouquets, I have to admit that I was originally gung-ho about wearing coloured shoes under my ivory dress, particularly red ones.
There is something about red shoes that imbibes the wearer with whimsy, sass and sex appeal, all three are great things to be, so why not on your wedding day?
But the more I pondered on it, and the more images of red shoes I downloaded and collected as inspiration, the more I began to realize that it wasn't quite right for me. As much as I liked the idea and the photos I have seen of pairs upon pairs of cute red shoes poking out from under the meringue-like skirts of wedding gowns, I decided that for me, something more understated felt more authentic.
This came after a lengthy thread on Facebook with my bridesmaids in which I explained that ONLY I should be wearing red shoes and requesting that they not wear red shoes to go with their black dresses.
Bridezilla much? Yeah. Terrible.

All is well that ends well, though. They will be stunning in black knee length dresses to show off their cute red shoes and I will get the dose of no-shock tradition that I never knew I needed.

Soft focus

2009-03-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

The veil. Is there anything more iconic of a bride?

I have heard that many women don't feel like a bride, or have the serious reality check that it's actually happening, until they see themselves in a veil. The dress is one thing, but topping your head with a yard or two of something soft and gauzy can be more than enough to open the flood gates and leave you teary, gazing at your own face in the misty soft focus that only a whispered halo of tulle can produce.

Alas, I did not have this "moment". I'm not bitter about it, but admittedly, I was looking forward to the usual swoon. I did, however, have that throat tightening gasp of excitement when I saw a veil placed upon my best friend Janna's head. It was quite amazing how transforming the veil was. She had just found THE dress (it was perfect, gorgeous, amazing, etc.) but that veil. Man, oh man. All of a sudden she looked the part, completely.

Later that same day, I too found my dress. I too tried on a veil or two. Alas, it was all wrong. Not just because they didn't suit the dress, but they didn't suit me.
What on Janna had looked feminine and delicate, fit for a princess, on me looked awkward, clownish and out of place. Luckily, I have no particularly vested interest long flowing veils. I do, however, happen to love [love!] birdcage veils like these ones.

I have yet to try one on (birdcage), so I am not sure if they work on me, but there is something cute and classic about them. Despite the unfortunate history of the wedding veil,(here you'll find a brief description of that history) I have fingers crossed that I like the way they look on as much as I like them on other people and in photos. I have done some research on how to DIY a birdcage veil and it seems easy enough. Perhaps I will try crafting one and post the results of my attempts here. More on that later!

White Bouquets

2009-03-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

So classic. So beautiful.

via fayeandgreer.blogspot.com

I always fancied myself a non traditional bride to be. Not that I ever spent much time in nuptial fantasies, but whenever I considered an image of myself being married, I was always carrying a brightly coloured clutch of blooms. Well, the truth has reared it's head and the verdict is in: I'm a sucker for classics.

Momentum

2009-03-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gotten to a point on a project where you have accomplished a lot, but you haven't seen it come to fruition? Where most of the foundational pieces are in place, but not all, and you just want to get down to the details and play with the specifics? THAT'S WHERE I AM WITH WEDDING PLANNING!

Done

~ Venue for ceremony and reception rented
~ Photographer booked (check Jana out; she's brilliant!)
~ Marriage commissioner booked
~ Dress bought
~ Caterer booked
~ Day-Of Coordinator booked (my lovely friend Reesa from Cloud Nine Events)
~ Cake baker established (see cake posts below, cake design kind of figured out
~ Ceremony written
~ My ring
~ Bridesmaids and groomsmen chosen
~ M.C. chosen (super excited about this one!)
~ Invites designed
~ Save the Dates made (but not sent)

Still to do

~ Transportation - do we really want/need limos?
~ Flowers
~ Music (we are doing an ipod/laptop wedding so there are many play lists to be built)
~ Suits/tuxes for the guys
~ Rob's ring
~ Get invites printed
~ Send Save the Dates
~ Shoes!
~ Gifts for wedding party and parents
~ Book wedding night hotel
~ Decide on Honeymoon destination and book it.
~ Complete/finalize guest list

~ A million other details ....

I'm anxious to get to the less "nuts and bolts" part. I'm itching to be down to purely aesthetic choices and just indulge in the beauty of the event. When will that come? After I check a few more things off the list, I guess.

Stylish Fellows

2009-03-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

The guys in the wedding party, including Rob, will be wearing ever so stylish ties by Cyberoptix Tie Lab, my new favourite Etsy shop
We chose a pattern for each guy that represents one of his hobbies, interests or personality and coordinated them with the colour scheme we are working with (black & white, crimson & charcoal)

Love is meant to be shared

2009-03-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

I suppose I should provide some more context to these postings and step away, for a moment, from the less critical things (like the 2 posts devoted to cake, below).

Why a wedding?

Short answer:
Because it's just what people do.

Long answer:
When Rob and I decided to get married we had been together for almost 8 years, and living together essentially from the beginning. Many people have asked why we are bothering to get married, since we pretty much are already. We knew that despite the cost, and fuss and logistics, we wanted to have a wedding. Although it's "just what you do", we also felt very strongly that deciding to spend the rest of your lives together is worth doing publicly, worth saying out loud for all to hear. Plus, we both love to throw a great party.

We have done away with some traditions (no garter toss ... eek! not our style) and we are trying to keep things fairly relaxed. The most surprising thing to me is just how traditional some of our (my) wedding desires really are. I'll wear white (well, ivory, but still...) We have chosen bridesmaids and groomsmen. There will be a reception with a buffet dinner and dancing. Sounds like a wedding, right? Good. That's what we're aiming for.

It seems that the biggest challenge is keeping it real, keeping it "us". It is very easy to get sucked into the wedding vortex and pop out swathed in yards of tulle, kissing under a white balloon arch with a string quartet, 7 flower girls, and 400 of your nearest and dearest looking on. (not that there's anything wrong with that if that's your style). It's also easy to have complete mental breakdowns when you can't get calla lilies with 20" stems and you have to settle for 18". How will the world keep turning? It can be tough to keep it all in perspective and keep it about what matters: you are marrying the love of your life.

So why did we choose the agony of a wedding? We could have just as easily marched down to city hall, or had a marriage commissioner meet us in a local park. We could have uttered our vows privately, without fanfare and then just gone out for a nice dinner. We chose a wedding, with all it's agony, for it's ecstasy.

When all is said and done we will have spent a tidy sum, and we will have a momentous day to look back on. We will have stories to tell our children, words of wisdom for other young lovers looking to make it "official" and photos to help us recall all the painstakingly planned details. More than that, we will have an anniversary to celebrate, and memories of all our friends and family enjoying the day with us.

For us that is the ultimate: the sharing. This Love is big. This Love is deep. This Love is ours.

And, without a doubt, this Love is meant to be shared.

More on cake...

2009-03-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Thankfully the days of fruitcake as wedding cake are almost over! When it comes to the deep mahogany coloured, booze spiked, peel and nut studded fruitcake, I have one slice per year, and only at Christmas. Truth be told I don't usually finish it, I just pick the marzipan off.
So when looking at images of cakes and thinking of flavours, Rob (that's the fella I'm marrying)and I went as far from that age-old confection as we could.

The short list was:
Lemon poppy seed with strawberry filling
Coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream
Pistachio with mocha filling and vanilla-bean butter cream
Red Velvet with Cream cheese frosting

The winner is ... coconut with passion fruit filling and vanilla butter cream!
Much like this beauty from Martha Stewart, only smaller ...

Let them eat cake

2009-03-01T16:19:00.000-08:00

Of all the wedding traditions, for me, the most iconic is the cake.
It may be that I have cake on the brain because tomorrow is my birthday and I am setting out to make myself (and my friends and family) a 6 layer neopolitan (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) cake, but really, what else says wedding like a stacked, sweet confection, possibly topped with a cute couple or kissing doves/swans? I love the symbolism: something sweet to start your new life with, and the ideas around the cake standing for fertility isn't so bad either. (though we aren't there yet!)

I have toyed with bucking tradition in a few areas of our upcoming wedding, but when it comes to the cake, I am just too attracted to traditional wedding cakes to stray very far. One thing that kills me though, is the price of wedding cakes. Like everything else wedding related, the W-word increases the price astronomically. We have decided to splurge on an incredible cake stand by Clara French Ceramiques and save on the cake by having my lovely Aunty April co-bake it with me. We are both skilled bakers and since there is zero interest in anything complex (like covering it with fondant!) she and I feel quite confident we can pull it off. As for the cake stand, have you ever seen anything so beautiful? We are getting the "flora" pattern in white with black accents. I think it will make a beautiful keepsake/heirloom and I'd rather spend the $ on an artisan's ceramics than on cake that will just be eaten, or worse yet, tossed out.

I know who I am, I know what I want.

2009-02-28T15:59:00.000-08:00

This is a statement that I believe in.
Why then, once engaged, have I so intensely felt the pressures of tradition and questioned my values and priorities? After many months of balancing excitement with confusion, I have settled on a theory: I'm developing my Bridentity.

Our identities are formed and reformed throughout our lives. Luckily, we live in a day and age where as women, we can be anything we wish to be, with no need for apology. We can even re-create ourselves, inside and out, at will. I have known myself as many things. I have been a daughter, a girl, a student, a lover, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a girlfriend,an artist, a professional, to mention a few. And now I am someone's fiancee and soon to be a bride.

Don't get me wrong. This journey is not strictly introspective. My inner aesthete is delighted at the prospect of all the pretty things that come along with weddings!

So what does all of this mean? That is what I am hoping to find out.